I Coulda Been A Contender


I remembered something the other day – I used to make a fool of myself on YouTube on almost a weekly basis. I worked with several collabs, had a personal channel, and rendered myself somewhere along a line-up of D list lesbians (“D list” is being very, very generous) Yet along that long, and dyke […]

I Can Make Anything Awkward


Today I had to take a drug test. In the scrapbook of my life, it would be marked – “Baby’s First Drug Test.” No, I have never been drug tested before – which is surprising considering I’ve held several jobs in which that probably should have. As my appointment was at 10:30, I woke up […]

RIP Lisa Frank


Okay, so Lisa Frank isn’t dead. According to their corporate information their headquarters is located in  Tucson, Arizona so I imagine she’s sitting on her back porch drinking a mojito, staring at a cactus, and laughing about how rich she got making stickers and notebooks with unicorns and homoerotic polar bears. What is dead, is me […]

Why I Hate Hippies


I recently spent nearly 4 days surrounded by thousands of dirty, sweaty hippies at the music festival Gathering of the Vibes. Back in the day, I attended this festival every year. However, revisiting it almost five years later at a more “adult” age wove a completely different story. I was reminded of a very small detail […]

Lisa Frank Is Still On Drugs


Meet Buffy, Brandi and Pawla (nice play on words Lisa!). According to this wrap sheet they are best friends who go to the “Beary Cool School” where they are cheerleaders. I’m assuming made it for their gymnastic skills and not their good looks and popularity. They like “When their team wins!” and dislike “When their […]

Lisa Frank Liked Drugs.


A few days ago, for no particular reason, I found myself googling Lisa Frank. Don’t give me that blank stare, you know who she is. You owned her trapper keepers, notebooks, pencils, folder, and stickers – YOU DID. They were covered in neon baby tigers and magical unicorns eating lollypops and you loved it. You […]