I Fucking Love Therapy

Yesterday I went to therapy. Am I going to tell you every time I go to therapy and sing its motherfucking praises? Try and stop me. Or don’t because mental health is super important and nothing to be shameful of. You don’t need to be in peril, the throes of an existential crisis, or have […]

Whole 30 Recap: Week 3

We are now in the freakin’ 20’s as far as days go. Did I think I would make it this far? Jesus Christ guys – yes, yes I did. I’m not that pathetic, it’s only 30 days. Give me a little credit, okay? I mean I have vomited out the back window of a cab, […]

The Women Who Raised Me

I often wonder how I turned out the way that I did. Despite all the curve balls my childhood threw me, I ended up relatively normal. Let me state for the record that I am using the term “relatively” very, very loosely. My Mother, who is a fantastic woman, wasn’t exactly the greatest role-model growing […]

Lisa Lives On

So apparently not only do I not have any true friends, but I also never, ever have. Case and point: If I did have, or ever had a friend, clearly I would already have received my lifetime membership to the Lisa Frank fan club from my lifetime friend. Now, I’m not sure what this membership even includes […]

The Weirdest Toys Of My Childhood

1. The Super Soaker Oozinator Once upon a time, Hasbro decided that just shooting water out of their Super Soakers wasn’t good enough. So they came out with a new water gun; “The Super Soaker Oozinator.” It featured an “air-powered blaster,” 27-ounce water capacity and 20-shot “bio-ooze” capacity. Now pray tell, what is this “ooze?” […]

I Love The 90’s

The 90’s was a weird time for everyone. Every era was so distinctly defined up to that point. The 50’s was Leave It To Beaver, the 60’s was all about free love and multiple sexual partners, the 70’s had disco inferno, and the 80’s…well, it was the 80’s. Then we get to the 90’s. Strung […]

Lisa Frank Liked Drugs.

A few days ago, for no particular reason, I found myself googling Lisa Frank. Don’t give me that blank stare, you know who she is. You owned her trapper keepers, notebooks, pencils, folder, and stickers – YOU DID. They were covered in neon baby tigers and magical unicorns eating lollypops and you loved it. You […]