I’ve Peaked


I’m sitting here with a celebratory glass of whiskey like I deserve it for the sole attainment of the minute task of feeling inspired to sit down and write. If you’re not a writer you probably don’t understand writer’s block, and how it builds up inside of you as you hold a million words and […]

I’m Garbage With Girls


There’s a cute girl who works for UPS that comes by my office almost everyday. She makes my gaydar ping so last week I decided to be bold and finally say something to her. What suave statement did I make to get her attention? Did I tell her the color brown suited her? That it […]

On Being Single: Part 23478230


Here we find ourselves again. I’d like to say that like a fine wine, I’ve gotten better with age – but replace “better” with “lamer” and you’ve got yourself a more accurate description of my current affect. Okay, then maybe replace “lamer” with “tamer” because that sounds better and also I’m sorry I’m making you […]

How To Make A Bad Day Good Again


Sometimes days conspire against you. They take on your optimistic affect with squalor and turn it into a no-good, very bad day. These are the days you literally slip on a banana peel, step on a bucket, which then in turn flies into the air clumsily until it lands on your head. Today was a […]