I’m Garbage With Girls


There’s a cute girl who works for UPS that comes by my office almost everyday. She makes my gaydar ping so last week I decided to be bold and finally say something to her. What suave statement did I make to get her attention? Did I tell her the color brown suited her? That it […]

WTF I’ve Been Doing


It’s Tuesday night at 5:30 PM and I’m exhausted. “How?” you wonder, “You don’t have a job or anywhere you need to be except a yoga class right now.” You’ll continue: “And I don’t feel particularly bad for you and your extreme first-world problems…in fact, I find you rather annoying and I don’t even want […]

Jumping For Joy


It was Saturday night and we were careening down a curvy road headed towards the Cache National Forest. We’d planned on going to Causey Reservoir the following day and figured why not turn it into all-out soiree that included camping under the stars, sitting around a fire, and being one with nature & shit. Once […]

On Depression & Anxiety


They say life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. Except most boxes of chocolate come with those handy-dandy tops that clearly explain what everything is: Perhaps I’m being too literal, because I imagine the gist behind what Forrest Gump was trying to articulate was figurative. For the sake […]

2016.


In 1348 the Black Death swept across Europe and killed a third of the population. In 1939, World War II would begin and last for 6 grueling years. In 2007, Britney Spears shaved her head and got a few illy contrived tattoos. These were all years that people deemed “the worst of our time.” Okay, […]