WTF I’ve Been Doing

It’s Tuesday night at 5:30 PM and I’m exhausted. “How?” you wonder, “You don’t have a job or anywhere you need to be except a yoga class right now.” You’ll continue: “And I don’t feel particularly bad for you and your extreme first-world problems…in fact, I find you rather annoying and I don’t even want to read this.” In that case I officially excuse you to go do whatever it is you need to do. You do you boo – I certainly don’t want to stop you from living your best life. In response to what I’ve been doing for the last few weeks – I’ll keep it simple at letting you know I’m not having any trouble filling my time. But in case you’re curious and find that a less than satisfactory answer – here’s a few things that have been filling my docket as of late:

I’m getting to know myself intimately AF. It’s utterly a juxtaposition between the most fantastic and terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. The only other time I can remember feeling this way is when I decided to move back to Utah after a hiatus back East. I spent days driving with only myself, having too many conversations with my cat, and being completely alone with all of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In case you haven’t gathered by this point in time – I have A LOT of those. There’s something about silence and isolation that is incredibly empowering and real. You have to face some pretty hard truths, and you become all the better for being forced to when maybe you wouldn’t have otherwise.

IMG_2374I’ve had the privilege of remaining a member of the Utah Craft Beer Community. A friend of mine needed some help this summer so I’ve been able to continue to pour beer, talk about beer, and be a part of beer in good capacity. I’ve struggled a lot with “Where do I go from here?” I started in the industry as an innocent mistake after Graduate School and it became my life. I’m sure I was a really obnoxious friend to have a beer with shortly after my departure from my job because I couldn’t enjoy a frothy beverage without carefully dissecting every piece of it, relaying every off-flavor I detected, and giving gratuitous feedback. I am grateful for every 10-hour day I’ve had serving beer in the sun – no matter how exhausted it made me, or how many drunken people I had to deal with. I know now that I will never be a stranger, no matter where life leads me. I will always have my beer friends to geek out with, work if I want it, and the community that feels like home to me.

IMG_2278 (1)Mountains. Have you seen them in Salt Lake? They’re fucking glorious and surround us on all sides. We’re pretty fucking lucky to all live here in case you didn’t know. It astounds me in almost a decade of living in Salt Lake, how much more there still is to explore. I’ve been able to find so many paths I’ve not taken, and I know there are so many more to find. Nora Jones, my dog – not the singer/songwriter (I don’t want you to be confused), is the happiest she’s ever been and it’s safe to say her Mom is too. We hike everyday – sometimes familiar routes we know and love but then some days we go somewhere totally new. Sometimes we get a little lost and panic for a moment but it’s okay, we always find our way. Strangely my dog has a better sense of direction than I do so I basically leave the navigating to her.

IMG_2402I’ve done some very exciting housesitting that involves, as the title suggests, sitting in people’s houses that aren’t yours and enjoying all the amenities they have and you don’t. I may have a Great Pyrenees/Golden mix that requires a daily walk at minimum as well as being fed, but I also have functioning A/C, all the cable channels a person could desire, and total freedom to walk around naked. I typically worked a Monday through Friday 9-5 schedule, but my job also included various nights and weekends depending on what kind of events we had going on. Therefore I would accrue “comp time” which as you may have guessed – entailed being compensated for that time that you worked by being allowed to take other days off. This led to the occasional free weekday where I’d go to yoga at 10:45 AM and look around and wonder: “Who are these bitches that can just go to yoga in the middle of the day? What do they DO for a living?” I never thought I could be one of those bitches, but I stand corrected.

Sadly, but also not, that chapter will be coming to a close in a couple of weeks as I have accepted a job offer as of today. However, the exceptional news (besides the part where I am going to be employed) is that I start on the 21st, so I will have time to both continue and wrap up the journey I have been on. And honestly – I don’t think I will be wrapping anything up – if I’ve learned from this experience it’s that holy fuck I need to practice what I preach.

Taking time for yourself is how you sustain in this life. It’s how tiny things stay that size and don’t become big for no reason, and how your worries and stress don’t wear you down to nothing. It’s how you look in the mirror each morning and know exactly who you are and are happy to be that person. It’s how you are able to sleep at night and how you can breathe with ease. It teaches you to know your body and how important it is to listen to it. There are times to get up and go, and there are times it’s okay to stay in bed and watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Which by the way, I think I have a problem with because I was watching an episode the other day where I actually felt I really related with one of the characters on the show – and that should never happen.

This time has been a gift, and I certainly won’t be taking what’s left of it for granted. So look forward to a further onslaught of blog posts, Instagram pictures, and insufferable snapchats – we’re not done quite yet.

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