Sometimes days conspire against you. They take on your optimistic affect with squalor and turn it into a no-good, very bad day. These are the days you literally slip on a banana peel, step on a bucket, which then in turn flies into the air clumsily until it lands on your head. Today was a little bit like that for me.
Halfway through my work day I got the kind of cramps that make you want to curl up in a ball with a heating pad and Youtube videos of Ellen giving people big checks and ugly cry at them. I’m not embarrassed to talk about my period because as a 31-year-old woman, I don’t think it’s a mystery I have a menstrual cycle, and let me tell you in my 30’s it’s really kicked into high gear. I don’t know if my uterus recognizes that I’m getting into my danger zone of the apt time for procreation and is punishing me for not wanting to do that but damn, it’s letting me know its displeasure through searing physical pain.
Anyways, this was only part of a high-activity day at work that wasn’t panning out quite right, coupled with a broken traffic light and a highway backup that made my simple commute home into a Zelda-esque quest without any of the cool stuff, a bathroom door hanging off the hinges because my landlord still hadn’t fixed it – I mean Prince fucking died, so this day was obviously cursed and my list of white people problems could go on and on. But as I found myself driving home, I was smiling. Instead of thinking “Wow, today is the fucking worst and woe is me,” I just kind of laughed at the realization sometimes I actually have better coping skills than I give myself credit for (I can picture my girlfriend who deals with my actual crazy laughing when I read this aloud to her) Here’s a few suggestions I have for you to make a tough day infinitely better:
1.) Google animal memes. I’m not kidding. Share them with people, no one will hate you for doing this and if they do it’s a good way to tell which of your friends and coworkers are actually members of a heartless and undead race. I mean c’mon.
On a scale of 1-10 how mad does this picture make you? A zero? Good, that’s what I thought.
2.) Eat some motherfucking chocolate. If you really need it, you won’t hate yourself after eating it – you’ll just eat more. Besides being delicious there’s something oddly comforting about chocolate, it’s like a warm blanket that hugs your hips and fat cells. Shoutout to Beckie for the candy bar today, if Tina Turner were here she would say you’re “simply the best.”
3.) Go home and have a beer. As a beer connoisseur of sorts I officially give you permission to both eat and drink your feelings. I know that it’s probably healthier to go to the gym or a mediation class but after a shitty day do you want to do either of those things? Hell no. Your vices can be your friends, just don’t let them be your lovers.
4.) Laugh a little. My friend Ashley and I have lived together, and currently work together. The poor girl has to look at my face and hear my voice about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. We’re kind of emotional anchors for each other on the day-to-day and we’ve come up with a great coping skill that includes acknowledging when a day is so bad it’s borderline funny. We call them “comically horrible” days and we also do a lot of this:
Trying to look at a not-so-great day with humor and finding a little light in the dark is awesome because once you start laughing, it can really turn things around.
5.) Check-in with your partner/friend/roommate. I’m not trying to bum you out if you’re tragically single cause I’ve been there but just like some people are dumb, some people are fan-fucking-tastic and care about you. Tonight my girlfriend rented ‘Star Wars’ from Redbox, and offered to make dinner and suggested I write because that makes me happy. But before Jenn I always had and will have solid people to support me from a bad day spanning to a general bad time lasting more than 24 hours. Find good humans and keep them, being a good human helps with this!
Now I’m gonna make like Lisa Left-Eye Lopez (RIP) from TLC and freestyle a little bit:
Listen to a song you like or a podcast (today for me the song was ‘Purple Rain’ and the podcast was ‘Coupla Questions’ with Danielle Owens-Reid) Go for a walk that either takes you out in the sunshine or allows you to see people who make you feel good when you see them. Watch a funny YouTube video, hug someone, and have some love time with your fur-babies. If you don’t have fur-babies maybe now is a great and irresponsible time to go adopt a few! You’re feeling emotionally vulnerable and are due to make rash decisions. What are you waiting for?! Take off your shoes, for some reason this always makes me feel better, I swear to Gaia. Maybe it makes me feel more grounded, or maybe I get a slightly sick pleasure of making other people smell my feet, who really knows.
Reset and breathe if you have the energy, but sometimes those no-good and very bad days are a little less simple than thinking about what you’re grateful for and saying ‘namaste.‘ Trust me these are important things and a great practice to live everyday of your life. What I’m saying is I get that your coping skills aren’t always as accessible as your fanny pack and when it comes to being authentic and experiencing life – sometimes this approach isn’t so realistic. So be and do you – we all have bad days, but they don’t have to totally suck. Wine and whining is 100% acceptable, but always remember that while today may be the worst day of your life – tomorrow could also be the best.