The other day I made the mistake of perusing the Gay & Lesbian section of Netflix. What exactly will follow is yet to be seen, but I’m pretty sure it goes a little something like this: I fall into a big, gay black hole and I’m never seen again. Tell my parents goodbye, and please find someone to love my cat at least half as much as I love her. Distribute my belongings accordingly, I don’t have too many. When you need to fit your life in a Ford Focus, you learn about downsizing.
In conjunction with discovering the lesbian vortex of Netflix, Netflix also decided to up the ante of gayness that is my life by putting seasons 1-5 of the ‘L Word’ up. Needless to say, I’ve been seriously connecting with my lesbionic roots as of late. Gay pride season is drawing to a close, so perhaps this is just all fated and I’m being reminded that being gay is more than parades, and days set aside each year to celebrate just how awesome we are.
I don’t care if being gay is a choice or not. I don’t think that it is, but if it was I’d probably choose to be anyways, because man – it’s way more fun. Heterosexual people don’t technically get their own month, bars, or holidays, and they don’t get fanciful things like rainbows and unicorns as their mascots. I mean you could argue heterosexual privilege or whatever, say every bar is their bar and every day is their day but that would also discount the point I’m trying to make.
I love who I am, and I always have. I’m pretty sure I was born this way, but even if I wasn’t and this was something I caught like the flu – I don’t care. Maybe it was a vaccine I did or didn’t get as a baby. But all hypotheses aside – I firmly believe that being gay totally rules.
In my whirlpool of lesbian emotion I stumbled across a documentary called “Out Late” which as you could probably guess; chronicled the lives of individuals who came out late in life. If there’s one thing that makes me well up in the eyeballs it’s adorable senior citizens, so couple that with eighty-year-olds grappling with their sexuality? The waterworks of this magnitude are not even of this world.
Sometimes you forget with all the glitter and sparkles that times can be hard. That there is something about you that you cannot help, that other people may not like. That people live their entire fucking lives pretending to be someone they’re not; which is fun if you’re at a really boring party and want to create an alternate persona and have a little fun – but it kind of loses its kitschy appeal when you’re pretending in your actual real-life.
Luckily I never really had to do this. I wear my heart on my sleeve, my feelings on my face, and I just couldn’t help being who I was. This isn’t to say it was a simple path – honestly I lived most of my adolescence and early adulthood pretending sexuality didn’t even exist. It wasn’t until college, where I got drunk and kissed girls, that I even started to figure out who I was and what I liked.
I have been very fortunate. While I did have my self-loathing, whycantijustbenormal days; I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by open-minded and wonderful people who’ve always accepted every last piece of me and encouraged me to be true to myself. But I also don’t make a habit of surrounding myself with ignorant douchebags, so there’s that. I am also lucky to have a super enlarged sense of apathy towards a lot of things. Like if someone doesn’t want to know me because I think kissing girls is the most awesome thing ever, I really don’t care to know them either.
I’m not gay. Well, I am, but let me explain what I mean here. Before I’m gay I’m smart, funny, compassionate, loving, and as matchless as a motherfucking snowflake. I’m someone’s sister, daughter, and a lot of people’s friends. I really like painting, skiing, cat-themed apparel, and I lust for craft beers. I’ve got quite a gamete of other adjectives and things going on for me besides the whole “happening to dig chicks” thing.
I don’t think we need to settle for acceptance in this world. And we don’t need to settle for tolerance. We need to learn to celebrate ourselves as people who are good, and important, and unique and then expect others to do that with us.