Whether you’re watching the Jersey Shore and feel inspired when the gang uses catchphrases like “I’m gonna do me,” or you prefer taking the advice of fore-father Abraham Lincoln (lame!) and you know – being “a good one” at whatever you are; I come to you today with the most simple of all messages: wherever you are in your life right now is okay, and don’t ever feel otherwise for even a second. If my spidey-senses even catch you wallowing in self-doubt for a moment on this matter; so help me god I will make a shank out of a plastic toothbrush, hunt you down, and stab you to death.
Fuck, I watched way too many episodes of “Orange is the New Black,” on Netflix today.
I got into a conversation with a friend today about self-compassion. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life mostly because I lack this almost in entirety (relax, I’m working on it.) In this day and age, it’s so easy to get sucked into a black hole of negative self-talk and most of the time we’d rather say something super obscure and hurtful about ourselves than a.) acknowledge what is actually going on, and then b.) doing something to fix it.
I realize that I sound like I should get a senior citizen discount at the movies when I use phrases like “in this day and age,” but I’m totally fine with that and I would also be totally fine with getting any kind of discount at the movies because they are so damn expensive.
For example, the other day something happened. Something so memorable and significant that I don’t even remember what it was. But anyways, I literally raised my voice (to myself like a crazy person) and said “Ugh, I hate myself.”
Now in reality do I hate myself? Hell, no. At the end of the day, I actually think I really like myself. I’d like to think I’m smart, and funny, and enjoyable to be around but even if these things aren’t true – I’m sure my rack makes up for most of this.
Upon further examination of this statement I realized I was just feeling a little negative, a tad defeated, and was being entirely over dramatic. It wasn’t my best day. I’ve been stressed about finances, employment, and the typical twenty-something day-to-day, existential crisis bullshit. Now, when I find myself in these places, I tend to feel guilty – like I should always be radiating joy out of my otherwise clogged pores or something. But I’ve realized this:
It’s okay to not always be the best version of yourself, what matters is that you are authentic to how you feel. Whatever you are, be a good one. If you’re in a crappy mood – honor your craptastic self. Heckle innocent bystanders on the street, yell about your problems and fling poo at them.
All right, so that’s not really what I’m going for with this stream of consciousness, but I’d hope that if your reading this blog you’ve achieved Piaget’s formal operational stage of cognitive development so I don’t have to over-explain myself. For those of you who have used your abstract thinking skills, nice work. For those of you who haven’t I’ll give you some cliff notes:
Our authentic self isn’t always pretty but it’s important to give ourselves permission to experience that.
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
M. Scott Peck