An Open Letter To Myself


Dear Tanya,

Stop being a dick to yourself. Seriously, sometimes you have NO regard for the human being you are – and you’re a pretty decent one. But you do stupid shit like arbitrarily go on hikes without enough water, and face the sun with little to no sunscreen. In case you missed the memo, you live in the desert now and both  of these things are important.

Your cat is sweating her fur off in clumps and you have to drink your beer out of bottles unless you want it to be 3.2%. That’s right – beer is a mere 3.2% ABV in Utah unless comes in a bottle and is purchased at a state approved liquor store. Needless to say you are going to be drinking a lot of bottled beer.

Also, be at peace with the fact that you have surrendered your coolness, and your unique nature. Every girl has more ink than you, it’s more well-done than yours, and she’s sporting a fedora you could never pull off. Ever. You’re West Coast swagger is commonplace, and you’re a mere snowflake amongst a mountain of knee-deep champagne powder (PS: Get in shape before ski season.)

photo 1However, strangely – despite a your undying love for it, beer will sink to the bottom pedestal of  your priorities. More important will be hiking to the top of many peaks, and attending more potlucks and barbecues than you can possibly account for. You will ingest enough pasta salad, potato salad, and coleslaw in the first two weeks you are there to hold you over for the rest of your mortal life.

In addition to drinking good beer, eating good food, and being surrounded by good people; you will live each moment of each and everyday to the maximum fullness which is a pretty rad thing. You will feel “feel good” moments wherever and whenever you go. You’ll pay attention to the little things like rose bushes that are in bloom, the sound your chucks make when as they pound the pavement while you walk, and you’ll never grow tired of the way the skyscrapers look against the mountains at sunset.

981496_934173247487_693964270_oYou will be in your element because you are with yourself. This is the time to make a promise, that even when life isn’t as simple as hikes that end in waterfalls, fresh as coffee from the Farmer’s Market, and as kind and sweet as a Mormon missionary – that you will exist here in this space. That you never stop trying to attain the next level of happy, bettering yourself, and most importantly – that you will not only stop to notice that the roses are in bloom, but that you will bloom wherever you’re planted.

In addition please remember the following: 1. Unlike the succulents you’ve recently acquired, you require water. You live in the desert. 2. Just because you’re more active now, doesn’t mean you should only dress in active-wear. You own real clothes too. 3. Although the lack of humidity means your skin isn’t as oily as a fourteen year old boy and your hair looks better, showering is still not a fully optional part of life.

Oh, and don’t forget to make a massive amount of pasta salad because you have not one, but two barbeques this week.

Love,

You.

3 thoughts on “An Open Letter To Myself

  1. It is crazy to me how your overall personality resonates within me; bringing me fruitful introversion and happiness that someone like you exists. Your realist perception is rivaled by your optimism, however sarcastic it sometimes may be. I like your dichotomous blend. I never stop looking forward to your blog posts. It’s a bookmark on my homescreen. My gf’s running blog isn’t even bookmarked on my homescreen. Keep doing what you’re doing and ill keep creepin’ yo shit.

    P.s. make more videos. Sadness wells withiiiiin.

    1. Kinder words have never been spoken. Thank you for providing me with something so nice to see upon waking up. I love that whatever musings I am sharing are reaching even at least one person on a positive level. It’s for sure been interesting seeing how my blog has evolved, from the early days of making fun of Lisa Frank, to now being a space to deconstruct myself and my experiences. I’ve definitely been more into the blogging than vlogging as of late, but that can always change 🙂 Thanks again.

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