The Game Of Life


Maybe you wake up every morning wondering what I’m up to and spend the day refreshing my blog page over and over again just waiting in anticipation. If that’s the case – 2 things are evident. 1. I might get a restraining order against you in the future, and 2. You’ve been sorely disappointed in my lack of web presence.

I’m sorry, I really am. I could weave you a tale of woe in which I remind you my car died, I’m a pathologically procrastinating graduate student, and that I don’t have internet access. But you don’t care, do you? You just want me to list the reasons I hate Ben Affleck, or to reminisce about the greatest gadgets of the 90’s.

This weekend was supposed to be the best weekend of my life. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but to be fair – I love Halloween. While all of my peers were busy finding ways to make their costume ideas sexy, I was busy hot glueing and sewing up a storm to create original masterpieces. On the left, I am modeling my Halloween costume from 2001: the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from the movie Ghostbusters. Completely homemade of course.

This year I had decided to make light of my recent departure from Salt Lake City, Utah and be a Mormon. Not just any Mormon, but a member of the fundamentalist group – or as people would probably know them better, the kind of Mormons who live on compounds and practice polygamy. Big Love style.

I found a lovely frock at the Salvation Army, had enough hairspray to get that “poof” just right, and a book of Mormon to happily tote around.

However, come last night – I was not so happy.

I attempted to make it to the Halloween party I was invited to, I really did. I even made it one exit down the highway before I aborted mission. Why was I turning around might you ask? Well I will tell you what it wasn’t: It wasn’t a car accident, traffic, or car troubles. It was SNOW. Not a cute little dusting of snow, but a foot of snow that downed lines, leaving about 800,000 Connecticut residents without power. I would like to call Mother Nature because she clearly is looking at the wrong calendar; it’s October.

While I was understandably crestfallen, my night wasn’t a loss. The house I was snowed into happened to not fall into the demographic of the 97% of the town without power, and instead of getting drunk in a costume, I got drunk and played the most intense game of LIFE I have ever been involved in.  And wouldn’t you know, who got to retire at the Millionaire estates with their wife and lake house? This bitch right here. We never had kids but that was okay. I was an artist first, then an entertainer. My house was on “Lake Keetchafish.” You’re jealous. The highlight of the night was when we were counting our money to determine the winner and realized that as we were doing so, the iPod shuffle had picked “Gangsta’s Paradise” to play at that very second.

While this weekend wasn’t what I planned it to be, so is life (pun fully intended). I may have missed the friends, the overzealous amount of shots, and the amazing costumes but somehow sitting around a card table taking shots of honey whiskey every time your friend “had a baby” or you hit Pay Day…it wasn’t so bad. Actually, it was fun.

I could elaborate on the metaphors here, but I’ve already gone on too long. I do hope everyone had or has (I mean technically Halloween hasn’t even happened yet in the real world) a Happy Halloween!

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